Tuesday, November 3, 2009

He Likes it

I've read in so many blogs that there is a huge fear of women of color going natural. One reason that sticks with me is the reason they believe that their man or men in general won't find them attractive. I've also read in many blogs that that simply is not true and this I know for a fact.
My significant other loves my hair and he's not the only one. While at work, a gentleman strolls into the front lobby digging for info. A rep looking for a contact name to push a sales pitch to.  I inform him that the facility would be closing in a month and so no new contracts or contacts would be made. He offers his apologies for the apparent job loss I would be experiencing in the near future and asked what would I do. I explained to him that I was a student of cosmetology and I would be focusing on my studies the more to graduate. He tells me that his wife is a stylist and loves what she does. He goes go on to explain that his wife is tackling to expand her target market to African-American clients. (That's right. He and his wife are caucasian.) I explained to him that most stylists feel that there is a huge difference in african descent hair and caucasian hair. The truth is, its not. What's different is the texture and therefore maintenance. Other than that hair is hair. It all needs to be cleansed, conditioned and nourished just the same. You just have to learn how to apply proper care to hair texture that is coily or very tightly curled, I explained. Very interested, he asks the super loaded question that he probably had no idea what it meant to a black woman. "Why do African-American women straightened their hair? I think yours is beautiful the way that it is and it's natural, correct?" I thanked him for the compliment and told him yes that it is indeed natural. But there was no way I could explain to him in totality my views as to why we as black women straighten our hair without taking up the rest of his day and mine. I simply explained to him, my personal reason and that was because my mother relaxed my hair while I was still in kindergarten maybe even as early as preschool. "For me, it was all I knew."  "Well", he starts again, " I sure think your hair is beautiful and it looks as though you put some time into making it look so." Yes I do put time/work into the upkeep of my locs. As I did when I relaxed it. Except now this is my texture, the natural me. I thanked him again and he went his merry way with a good bye and a good luck to me.
Which brings me back to men, all types of men, love natural hair. Not all men do, but don't believe that there are just 1 or 2 out there admiring your natural coils. There are plenty of them that are secretly admiring you.  All wide eyed in amazement at your gravity defying curls. Mesmerized by the appearence of softness that resembles cotton. Longing to know what it feels like. In complete awe of your beauty and confidence. They are out there do you see them?

3 comments:

NubianSoul said...

Natural is the new black. I get a lot of compliments on my hair, especially when I curl it, or even when I have it in bantu knots....my co-workers LOVE it when I have my hair like that

Yahvinah said...

my husband would not have me have any other type of hairstyle. and living in australia, I have found the (numerous) white ppl will be the first to say they like my hair (in twa's, braids, etcs) and they always ask why other African American ladies (especially the ones they see while visiting the US) don't wear their hair the same... One guy referred to the straighted perm look as "fried" ouch. Needless to say I let him know that wasnt nice, but its kind of true...

Bajan Lily said...

Beautiful post, well said!
I'd like to think that as a 'people' we are turning the corner i.e. not just one or two of us in random pockets, moreso a general 'turning' so that it is becoming more accepted and acceptable to wear your natural hair whomever you are and wherever you are.