Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Self Talk

I started this blog because it's therapeutic. A New Start, A New Me. I wanted a change in my life and so I have to be that change. It starts with me. What happens when I become stressed, excited, angry, happy? I write about it. No I'm not the best writer and probably my grammar teacher would just faint if she knew how I was writing today. Still, it best to just get it out and so I write........

I had to release. Tears came flowing from my eyes. My emotions running crazy. How long will this last? I thought to myself. I work two jobs. I go to school 24 hrs a week. I miss my kids terribly. I'm frustrated. I'm tired. I'm mad. But then I think, I'm bigger than this. I'm stronger than this and if it's becoming overwhelming, then maybe I'm carrying too much of the weight. How about I shift a lot more of the load over to Lord. He won't mind.
Sometimes I feel alone. I feel like I'm by myself, trying to make a better future for me and my daughters. Then I open my eyes wider and say 'Hey girl, what's this I hear? You're not trying to give up are you? What are the consequences of giving up now? All that you put in and went through thus far, was it in vain? Were you just foolin' around and waisting time or do you have something to accomplish? I'm just wondering. Because the woman I know is not a quitter! The woman I know is a straight up warrior! Ah Ha! Where's your armor Warrior Princess? Are you wearing your helmet of salvation? Protect yourself with the shield of faith. And by any means necessary do not lay down your sword of the Spirit which is the word of God. What's that you say? You are busy! Too busy to prepare for battle? Well that's the kind of thinking that has actually started this so call release anyway. Rethink the way you are going about this. Get in touch with the One whose really in control. Put on your armour and stop roaming around unprotected like your adversary is not lurking around seeking whom he may devour. This war is not over. FIGHT! There's a victory waiting to be won.

After that. I needed a hug.

Now I'm motivated again. I'm ready! CHARGE!

Thanks self. I needed that.


The Bass Family said...

Thanks to both of you (1. you & 2. self) for that release! LOL!

Nah, I understand where you are coming from. I think, we as women, are naturally fighters but like you said, if we do not have on the whole armor of God we are setting ourselves up for defeat! The war of life is not one that can be won alone...we need God on our side, otherwise, we are fighting a losing battle!

Anonymous said...

My sister, as I have said before I'm Godly proud of you. Experience is a good teacher of the word of God. There will be times when we get weary just don't faint. Wait on the Lord and be of good courage,and he shall strenghthn your heart; Wait I say on the Lord.
(Psalm 27:14)