Why Am I Doing This?

Why all of a sudden this strong urge for change? What happened? I mean, for the past 14 years things have somewhat been the same for me. Wrong moves, bad decisions, cloudy perspective, the works. So why change now? What happened to me? No doubt, I will make more mistakes and make more decisions that will probably end of not being good ones for me, but I want change! I want something different in my life. 'In order to get what you never had, you must do what you've never done.' I don't know who said that but boy did they hit the nail on the head or what! I need to be content with who I am. I need to be content with who God saids I am. So that led to the question; Who am I? If I don't have the answers to those very important questions, then I believe that my life will be a complete waste. I'll never forget when God gave me a personal word. He said "You are going through what you are going through not just for you, but for those that come after."

I'm Dreaming because my daughters need to know that is the start of desire.
I'm Striving to achieve because my daughters need to know to NEVER give up.
I'm Achieving because my grandchildren need hope to grasp to.
I'm Being or Becoming who God saids I am and Learning about myself because my children and their children's children need to know that that is the ONLY person they should strive to be!
So I am doing this for ME. I am doing this for Them. I am doing this!

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

(from the movie: Akela and the Bee)

I have my reasons